______ __
/ ____/___ _____/ /___ ______ ___
/ /_ / __ \/ ___/ __/ / / / __ \/ _ \
/ __/ / /_/ / / / /_/ /_/ / / / / __/
/_/ \____/_/ \__/\__,_/_/ /_/\___/
If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
presumably flunk it.
-- Stanley Garn
Flugg's Law:
When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the
world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.
We'll cross out that bridge when we come back to it later.
The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them
is a match.
-- Will Rogers
A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed
on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new
game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the
pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly
along it at the water's edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their
heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn
around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite
direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the
paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin
colony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins
fall over gently onto their backs.
-- Audubon Society Magazine
[From the BBC, 2001-02-02:
For five weeks, a team from the British Antarctic Survey (BAS)
monitored 1,000 king penguins on the island of South Georgia as Lynx
helicopters passed overhead.
"Not one king penguin fell over when the helicopters came over,"
said team leader Dr. Richard Stone.
"As the aircraft approached, the birds went quiet and stopped
calling to each other, and adolescent birds that were not associated
with nests began walking away from the noise. Pure animal instinct,
really."
The conclusion, said Dr. Stone, is that flights over 305 metres
(1,000 feet) caused "only minor and transitory ecological effects" on
king penguins.]
Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche
-- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance,
my grandmother used to say, "The black cat is always the last one off
the fence." I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was
undoubtedly true.
-- Solomon Short
If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the
plantation and go home.
-- Eugene P. Gallagher
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
Tuesday, 19 May 2026 Michael J. Chappell Contact me at:
mcsuper5@freeshell.org
