______ __
/ ____/___ _____/ /___ ______ ___
/ /_ / __ \/ ___/ __/ / / / __ \/ _ \
/ __/ / /_/ / / / /_/ /_/ / / / / __/
/_/ \____/_/ \__/\__,_/_/ /_/\___/
Ever since prehistoric times, wise men have tried to understand what,
exactly, make people laugh. That's why they were called "wise men."
All the other prehistoric people were out puncturing each other with
spears, and the wise men were back in the cave saying: "How about:
Would you please take my wife? No. How about: Here is my wife, please
take her right now. No How about: Would you like to take something?
My wife is available. No. How about ..."
-- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny"
To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
-- Woody Allen
The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his
memos.
-- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981
[NeXT] attracted the strangest kind of hybrid, which was sort of like...
Unix weenies by Armani.
-- John Perry Barlow
The basic idea behind malls is that they are more convenient than
cities. Cities contain streets, which are dangerous and crowded and
difficult to park in. Malls, on the other hand, have parking lots,
which are also dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in, but --
here is the big difference -- in mall parking lots, THERE ARE NO
RULES. You're allowed to do anything. You can drive as fast as you
want in any direction you want. I was once driving in a mall parking
lot when my car was struck by a pickup truck being driven backward by a
squat man with a tattoo that said "Charlie" on his forearm, who got out
and explained to me, in great detail, why the accident was my fault,
his reasoning being that he was violent and muscular, whereas I was
neither. This kind of reasoning is legally valid in mall parking
lots.
-- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"
Three great scientific theories of the structure of the universe are
the molecular, the corpuscular and the atomic. A fourth affirms, with
Haeckel, the condensation or precipitation of matter from ether --
whose existence is proved by the condensation or precipitation ... A
fifth theory is held by idiots, but it is doubtful if they know any
more about the matter than the others.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Don't get suckered in by the comments -- they can be terribly
misleading. Debug only code.
-- Dave Storer
You're being followed. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.
Wednesday, 1 April 2026 Michael J. Chappell Contact me at:
mcsuper5@freeshell.org
