______ __
/ ____/___ _____/ /___ ______ ___
/ /_ / __ \/ ___/ __/ / / / __ \/ _ \
/ __/ / /_/ / / / /_/ /_/ / / / / __/
/_/ \____/_/ \__/\__,_/_/ /_/\___/
APL is a write-only language. I can write programs in APL, but I
can't read any of them.
-- Roy Keir
If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down.
If the weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down.
If the bulletin covers are in short supply, however, church attendance
will exceed all expectations.
-- Reverend Chichester
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
Graduate life -- it's not just a job, it's an indenture.
THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #13: SLOBOL
SLOBOL is best known for the speed, or lack of it, of its compiler.
Although many compilers allow you to take a coffee break while they
compile, SLOBOL compilers allow you to travel to Bolivia to pick the
coffee. Forty-three programmers are known to have died of boredom
sitting at their terminals while waiting for a SLOBOL program to
compile. Weary SLOBOL programmers often turn to a related (but
infinitely faster) language, COCAINE.
"You are old," said the youth, "and your programs don't run,
And there isn't one language you like;
Yet of useful suggestions for help you have none --
Have you thought about taking a hike?"
"Since I never write programs," his father replied,
"Every language looks equally bad;
Yet the people keep paying to read all my books
And don't realize that they've been had."
You know you're a little fat if you have stretch marks on your car.
-- Cyrus, Chicago Reader 1/22/82
"I thought you were trying to get into shape."
"I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle."
Thursday, 18 June 2026 Michael J. Chappell Contact me at:
mcsuper5@freeshell.org
