______ __
/ ____/___ _____/ /___ ______ ___
/ /_ / __ \/ ___/ __/ / / / __ \/ _ \
/ __/ / /_/ / / / /_/ /_/ / / / / __/
/_/ \____/_/ \__/\__,_/_/ /_/\___/
There's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad it's not
a fence.
Q: Somebody just posted that Roman Polanski directed Star Wars. What
should I do?
A: Post the correct answer at once! We can't have people go on
believing that! Very good of you to spot this. You'll probably be
the only one to make the correction, so post as soon as you can. No
time to lose, so certainly don't wait a day, or check to see if
somebody else has made the correction.
And it's not good enough to send the message by mail. Since you're
the only one who really knows that it was Francis Coppola, you have
to inform the whole net right away!
-- Brad Templeton, "Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions
on Netiquette"
They also surf who only stand on waves.
In Pocatello, Idaho, a law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying
of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public
view."
You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for
freedom and liberty.
-- Henrik Ibsen
But soft you, the fair Ophelia:
Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws,
But get thee to a nunnery -- go!
-- Mark "The Bard" Twain
You should tip the waiter $10, minus $2 if he tells you his name,
another $2 if he claims it will be His Pleasure to serve you and
another $2 for each "special" he describes involving confusing terms
such as "shallots," and $4 if the menu contains the word "fixin's." In
many restaurants, this means the waiter will actually owe you money.
If you are traveling with a child aged six months to three years, you
should leave an additional amount equal to twice the bill to compensate
for the fact that they will have to take the banquette out and burn it
because the cracks are wedged solid with gobbets made of partially
chewed former restaurant rolls saturated with baby spit.
In New York, tip the taxicab driver $40 if he does not mention his
hemorrhoids.
-- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"
I suggest you locate your hot tub outside your house, so it won't do
too much damage if it catches fire or explodes. First you decide which
direction your hot tub should face for maximum solar energy. After
much trial and error, I have found that the best direction for a hot
tub to face is up.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
Friday, 14 November 2025 Michael J. Chappell Contact me at:
mcsuper5@freeshell.org
