______ __
/ ____/___ _____/ /___ ______ ___
/ /_ / __ \/ ___/ __/ / / / __ \/ _ \
/ __/ / /_/ / / / /_/ /_/ / / / / __/
/_/ \____/_/ \__/\__,_/_/ /_/\___/
JACK AND THE BEANSTACK
by Mark Isaak
Long ago, in a finite state far away, there lived a JOVIAL
character named Jack. Jack and his relations were poor. Often their
hash table was bare. One day Jack's parent said to him, "Our matrices
are sparse. You must go to the market to exchange our RAM for some
BASICs." She compiled a linked list of items to retrieve and passed it
to him.
So Jack set out. But as he was walking along a Hamilton path,
he met the traveling salesman.
"Whither dost thy flow chart take thou?" prompted the salesman
in high-level language.
"I'm going to the market to exchange this RAM for some chips
and Apples," commented Jack.
"I have a much better algorithm. You needn't join a queue
there; I will swap your RAM for these magic kernels now."
Jack made the trade, then backtracked to his house. But when
he told his busy-waiting parent of the deal, she became so angry she
started thrashing.
"Don't you even have any artificial intelligence? All these
kernels together hardly make up one byte," and she popped them out the
window ...
A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
Nothing is faster than the speed of light ...
To prove this to yourself, try opening the refrigerator door before the
light comes on.
I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind!
The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.
-- Charles Schulz
Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.
I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day cause that means
it's going to be up all night.
-- Steven Wright
Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the
richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben
Tuesday, 24 March 2026 Michael J. Chappell Contact me at:
mcsuper5@freeshell.org
