______ __
/ ____/___ _____/ /___ ______ ___
/ /_ / __ \/ ___/ __/ / / / __ \/ _ \
/ __/ / /_/ / / / /_/ /_/ / / / / __/
/_/ \____/_/ \__/\__,_/_/ /_/\___/
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by
twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
-- Rod Serling
How doth the VAX's C compiler
Improve its object code.
And even as we speak does it
Increase the system load.
How patiently it seems to run
And spit out error flags,
While users, with frustration, all
Tear their clothes to rags.
THE PURPLE COW Confession: and a Portrait, Too,
Reflections on a Mythic Beast, Upon a Background that I Rue!
Who's Quite Remarkable, at Least.
Ah, yes! I wrote the "Purple Cow"--
I never saw a Purple Cow; I'm sorry, now, I wrote it!
I never hope to see one; But I can tell you, anyhow,
But I can tell you, anyhow, I'll kill you if you quote it!
I'd rather see than be one. -- Gelett Burgess
Your lucky number has been disconnected.
Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's Chem.
Eng. 130 midterm. Once again no student received a single point on
his exam. Newell has now tossed five shutouts this quarter. Newell's
earned exam average has now dropped to a phenomenal 30%
... indifference is a militant thing ... when it goes away it leaves
smoking ruins, where lie citizens bayonetted through the throat. It is
not a children's pastime like mere highway robbery.
-- Stephen Crane
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy,
But it's very funny--
Did you ever try buying them without money?
-- Ogden Nash
Well, here it is, 1983, so it won't be long before you start reading a
lot of boring stories about people like Vance Hartke. Hartke is a
governor or mayor or something from one of the flatter states, and the
reason you'll be reading about him is that he's one of the 50 top
contenders for the 1984 Democratic presidential nomination. These men
will spend the next 18 months going around the country engaging in the
most degrading activities imaginable, such as wearing idiot hats and
appearing on "Meet the Press". "Meet the Press" is one of those Sunday
morning public interest shows that the public is not the least bit
interested in. It features a panel of reporters who ask questions of a
guest politician, who wins an Amana home freezer if he can get through
the entire show without answering a single question ...
-- Dave Barry, "On Presidential Politics"
Friday, 13 March 2026 Michael J. Chappell Contact me at:
mcsuper5@freeshell.org
