______ __
/ ____/___ _____/ /___ ______ ___
/ /_ / __ \/ ___/ __/ / / / __ \/ _ \
/ __/ / /_/ / / / /_/ /_/ / / / / __/
/_/ \____/_/ \__/\__,_/_/ /_/\___/
MAFIA, n:
[Acronym for Mechanized Applications in Forced Insurance
Accounting.] An extensive network with many on-line and offshore
subsystems running under OS, DOS, and IOS. MAFIA documentation is
rather scanty, and the MAFIA sales office exhibits that testy
reluctance to bona fide inquiries which is the hallmark of so many DP
operations. From the little that has seeped out, it would appear that
MAFIA operates under a non-standard protocol, OMERTA, a tight-lipped
variant of SNA, in which extended handshakes also perform complex
security functions. The known timesharing aspects of MAFIA point to a
more than usually autocratic operating system. Screen prompts carry an
imperative, nonrefusable weighting (most menus offer simple YES/YES
options, defaulting to YES) that precludes indifference or delay.
Uniquely, all editing under MAFIA is performed centrally, using a
powerful rubout feature capable of erasing files, filors, filees, and
entire nodal aggravations.
-- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-- Dean Martin
Year, n.:
A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
What I've done, of course, is total garbage.
-- R. Willard, Pure Math 430a
_
_ / \ o
/ \ | | o o o
| | | | _ o o o o
| \_| | / \ o o o
\__ | | | o o
| | | | ______ ~~~~ _____
| |__/ | / ___--\\ ~~~ __/_____\__
| ___/ / \--\\ \\ \ ___ <__ x x __\
| | / /\\ \\ )) \ ( " )
| | -------(---->>(@)--(@)-------\----------< >-----------
| | // | | //__________ / \ ____) (___ \\
| | // __|_| ( --------- ) //// ______ /////\ \\
// | ( \ ______ / <<<< <>-----<<<<< / \\
// ( ) / / \` \__ \\
//-------------------------------------------------------------\\
Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels
start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and
then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the
music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.
-- H. S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"
Hlade's Law:
If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person -- they
will find an easier way to do it.
When we understand knowledge-based systems, it will be as before --
except our fingertips will have been singed.
-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high-point of his entire
life to date. He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days
now. He has the sense of joyful independence a 5-year-old child gets
when he suddenly realizes that he could be operating an acetylene torch
in the coat closet and neither parent [because of the flu] would have
the strength to object. He has been foraging for his own food, which
means his diet consists entirely of "food" substances which are
advertised only on Saturday-morning cartoon shows; substances that are
the color of jukebox lights and that, for legal reasons, have their
names spelled wrong, as in New Creemy Chok-'n'-Cheez Lumps o' Froot
("part of this complete breakfast").
-- Dave Barry, "Molecular Homicide"
Thursday, 6 August 2026 Michael J. Chappell Contact me at:
mcsuper5@freeshell.org
