______ __
/ ____/___ _____/ /___ ______ ___
/ /_ / __ \/ ___/ __/ / / / __ \/ _ \
/ __/ / /_/ / / / /_/ /_/ / / / / __/
/_/ \____/_/ \__/\__,_/_/ /_/\___/
Fail we may, sail we must
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
-- Dorothy Parker, "Resume", 1926
You will lose your present job and have to become a door to door
mayonnaise salesman.
You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could
know how seldom they do.
-- Olin Miller
In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a sentence with words in
the proper order then why can't he?
It is always preferable to visit home with a friend. Your parents will
not be pleased with this plan, because they want you all to themselves
and because in the presence of your friend, they will have to act like
mature human beings ...
-- Playboy, January 1983
If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what the hell was
yesterday?
Ever since prehistoric times, wise men have tried to understand what,
exactly, make people laugh. That's why they were called "wise men."
All the other prehistoric people were out puncturing each other with
spears, and the wise men were back in the cave saying: "How about:
Would you please take my wife? No. How about: Here is my wife, please
take her right now. No How about: Would you like to take something?
My wife is available. No. How about ..."
-- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny"
Saturday, 24 January 2026 Michael J. Chappell Contact me at:
mcsuper5@freeshell.org
