______ __
/ ____/___ _____/ /___ ______ ___
/ /_ / __ \/ ___/ __/ / / / __ \/ _ \
/ __/ / /_/ / / / /_/ /_/ / / / / __/
/_/ \____/_/ \__/\__,_/_/ /_/\___/
Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with each
other, admiring your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing carols around
the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors
d'oeuvres.
Festivity Level 2: Your guests are talking loudly -- sometimes
to each other, and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging your
Christmas-tree ornaments, singing "I Gotta Be Me" around the upright
piano, gulping their drinks and wolfing down hors d'oeuvres.
Festivity Level 3: Your guests are arguing violently with
inanimate objects, singing "I can't get no satisfaction," gulping down
other peoples' drinks, wolfing down Christmas tree ornaments and
placing hors d'oeuvres in the upright piano to see what happens when
the little hammers strike.
Festivity Level 4: Your guests, hors d'oeuvres smeared all over
their naked bodies are performing a ritual dance around the burning
Christmas tree. The piano is missing.
You want to keep your party somewhere around level 3, unless
you rent your home and own Firearms, in which case you can go to level
4. The best way to get to level 3 is egg-nog.
In 1914, the first crossword puzzle was printed in a newspaper. The
creator received $4000 down ... and $3000 across.
Arbitrary systems, pl.n.:
Systems about which nothing general can be said, save "nothing
general can be said."
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
-- C. Schulz
If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some
memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it,
even if they don't know what it means.
-- Walt Kelly, "The Pogo Party"
Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic.
Omnibiblious, adj.:
Indifferent to type of drink. "Oh, you can get me anything.
I'm omnibiblious."
Friday, 1 May 2026 Michael J. Chappell Contact me at:
mcsuper5@freeshell.org
