______ __
/ ____/___ _____/ /___ ______ ___
/ /_ / __ \/ ___/ __/ / / / __ \/ _ \
/ __/ / /_/ / / / /_/ /_/ / / / / __/
/_/ \____/_/ \__/\__,_/_/ /_/\___/
Forgetfulness, n.:
A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their
destitution of conscience.
Now that you've read Fortune's diet truths, you'll be prepared the next
time some housewife or boutique-owner-turned-diet-expert appears on TV
to plug her latest book. And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for
eating coffee cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself
the following questions:
(1) Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a
food?
(2) Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich
exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me?
(3) Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as
prescribed ... without French-fried onion rings, pizza with
double cheese, or the occasional Mai-Tai? (Remember, living
right doesn't really make you live longer, it just *seems* like
longer.)
That, and another piece of coffee cake, should do the trick.
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any
firearms with me. I said, `Well, what do you need?'
-- Steven Wright
Lunatic Asylum, n.:
The place where optimism most flourishes.
What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do.
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad
example.
-- La Rochefoucauld
Unnamed Law:
If it happens, it must be possible.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World
War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
-- Albert Einstein
Tuesday, 15 September 2026 Michael J. Chappell Contact me at:
mcsuper5@freeshell.org
